Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
