Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
