I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
