This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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