We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
