I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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