Who did Billy Mays play for?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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