i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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