my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
