how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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