I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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