Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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