what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
