i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize