I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
