ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
