Fine. I'll sleep in my office
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
