You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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