Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You pole danced in your parka.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It's shark week go big or go home
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
