so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
