I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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