that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
