That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
