dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Bring me that man meat
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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