like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
