No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I need a beard to bite.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
