Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
