i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
