when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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