Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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