I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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