wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
