sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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