i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
