yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
