Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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