Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
