My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
