I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
