dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
