hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize