We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
