yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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