She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
