Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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