Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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