How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
