NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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