I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
