I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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