You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
