i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize