oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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