I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
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I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
