every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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