I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
