In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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