I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize