Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize